Somewhat on Writing(’cause I should be posting)

This is my document for the past week or two(or more):

Then I had a burst of inspiration:
Add a new character! 😛
The lovely new character was one I had used before, but in a story that was unfinishable. She was Alarissa, the pretty young woman who had suffered years in slavery.
If you’ve read the unfinishable tale, you should know that, in it, Alarissa was from the Scallop Isles(Princess of them, to be exact), but the villain of that tale killed her parents, and enslaved her.
How do I transport such a character?
I basically started a scene, gave the person in the scene Alarissa’s name, and started somewhat afresh.
I gave her a friend, people chasing her, and trapped her. So that you can see how… different? Alarissa is in this new tale, I’ll post her first scene in the unfinishable tale, and her first scene in the new tale.

FROM THE UNFINISHABLE TALE:

 A young servant girl with brown hair plaited intricately and intense blue eyes stopped by 

the large office door where she had heard protests.

“You’ll never get away with this!” a boy’s voice exclaimed.
“Oh,” a woman’s lilting voice teased, “but we already have.”

“Dramri will stop you.”
The servant girl went on her tiptoes and peeked in the window. The woman glanced at a 

man sitting at a desk. “That fake god? We’ve already rebelled. If he was going to stop us 

hwould have done it already.”
“Now,” the man at the desk stood. “Will you turn or shall I have do to you as I did to 

Princess Esmerette?”

“I’ll never do anything for you!” the boy seethed.

“Very well.” The man shut his eyes and the boy yelped.

“Get out of my mind!”

“I’d rather not,” the man at the desk said.

The boy’s skin transformed, taking on a scaly, blue-gray cast. Sharp teeth replaced flat and 

his hand and feet turned into claws. The boy’s eyes widened. “How 

couldyou?” he seethed. “You dirty, rotten villains!”

The woman gave a hum of approval at the boy’s transformation.

“You know,” the man said, “most go unconscious at such a transformation. But you, you 

have stayed conscious. Such power. Such strength. And you wast it for a lost cause.”

“My cause is not lost!” the boy lunged for the man. The woman quickly grabbed him. 

Within a few minutes the boy was again himself.


The servant girl turned away from the window as the man said; “Return him to the 

room.” She lifted her skirts and broke into a run, her eyes, instead of wide with fear, were 

dancing with curiosity



FROM THE NEW TALE:
North of Castle Elainl, Illustre, Alleure
Alarissa’s feet slid on the snow as she ran. The barking of hunting dogs echoed in the hills around her, and the cold seared pierced through her skin like needles of pure cold. Hoofbeats followed the howls and barks, and Alarissa stopped short. She had reached the river. She could go no further. Alarissa turned, and frosty hair sticking to her damp lips. The dogs were approaching. Alarissa blinked away sudden tears and held up her hands as the captain of the guard approached.
“I…” Alarissa shivered. “I surrender. Take me to your Queen.”
“If my Queen didn’t want you alive,” the captain said. “You would be dead where you stand.”
Alarissa resisted the urge to tell him to stop with all the dramatics. “It’s a bit cold out here, so if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to get this over with as quickly as possible.”
The captain laughed. “If you’re cold now, girl, you won’t hardly survive our Queen. She has several… activities planned for you.”
Alarissa refused to let her fear show, and continued to choose her words as daring as possible. “I’m surprised your Queen has not killed you for being so slow,” she said.
The humor vanished from his eyes. “Emert, tie her to your horse.” he commanded, his tone matching the weather—cold. The soldier called Emert dismounted and took rope from his saddlebag. He loosely tied the rope about her wrists, then looked Alarissa in the eyes.
Beynon.Alarissa allowed her mind to say the name that her lips could not. Beynon slid a small, unsheathed dagger into Alarissa’s hands, then turned and feigned tying the other end of the rope to his saddle.
Alarissa glanced, over at him, and he gave a sharp nod. She slipped her hands out of the rope and attacked the closest horseman. She brought him down from the horse, then quickly mounted and spurred the horse towards the river. Behind her, she could hear the sounds of the others, fast in pursuit. Beynon was still with them.
Aiweh, protect him. she prayed, shivering as her horse entered the first stretch of the river. Splashes of frigid water and ice hit Alarissa’s lower legs, chilling her. Alarissa could almost feel the horse’s relief when they made it to the other side of the river, for it matched her own.
Something is wrong.
It was too silent. The Queen’s men would not have given up at a simple half-frozen river. Unless…
Alarissa swallowed. Unless more men awaited her at the other side.


Alarissa seems better in the second excerpt, does she not?

‘Course, I tried the same tactic with a different character, and it didn’t work quite so well.
I couldn’t capture all that Aracora(the aforementioned “different character”) was in the other tale, so, though she is still good, she wasn’t the same. And since you went to the trouble of reading this post(which you really didn’t have to do) I’ll look around and see if I can find a picture that looks like Alarissa, and one that looks like Aracora on Pinterest or something of that sort.


Alarissa:

This is the closest I could find to Alarissa. For more of Alarissa… Make the face less full, more gaunt, and make the eyes(which are blue) bluer.
Aracora:
I hope I’m not insulting any Black Widow fans by using her face for Aracora.
Point is, I don’t like Black Widow. And, she does look uncannily like Aracora. Just make the eyes blue…
Needs sharper features…
And, of course, she needs black streaks in her hair. 
I hope you enjoyed this post!
-Ryebrynn
P.S. Don’t hesitate to leave a comment(Jedi mind trick: “You want to leave a comment”)! I love hearing from y’all!
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2 thoughts on “Somewhat on Writing(’cause I should be posting)”

  1. I'll have you know that Jedi can't be affected by Jedi mind tricks, so your Force suggestion is useless on me. But I am commenting anyway.

    So that's why this girl randomly appeared in your story . . . I was wondering if she was from a previous book and I'd forgotten her.

    I like Black Widow. But I'm not taking offense, since I imagined Aracora as looking somewhat like her, but, as you said, with sharper features and darker eyes and hair.

    Like

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