How to WordPress in 35 Steps

welcome to my blog. I’m going to teach you how to wordpress. we begin:

STEP ONE

step 1

open blogger. click settings.

STEP TWO

step 2

click other (basically I’m just making sure you know how to click haha)

STEP THREE

step 3

Click more. I’ve circled what you should click. click itttt

STEP FOUR

step 4

save it before it’s gone or you’ll die (actually you won’t but whatever)

STEP FIVE

step 5.JPG

this is what should happen. It will download a file. Remember where it downloads to–you’ll need to know later. If this doesn’t happen YOU ARE CLEARLY DOING SOMETHING WRONG BECAUSE WHAT HOW COULD IT BE MY FAULT

STEP SIX

step 6

open wordpress. click “get started” to *gasp* get started.

STEP SEVEN

step 7

I mean, I’m not here to tell you what to do–OH WAIT I AM SO LISTEN UP. CLICK “START WITH A BLOG”

STEP EIGHT

step 8

 

since I’m in charge and we handle the whole theme thing later, click skip for now
or face my wrath
jk I won’t hurt you haha

STEP NINE

step 9

This is where you figure out what cute, funny, witty, awkward, cool name you want your blog to have STRESS OVER THIS BECAUSE IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE NAME YOU PICK YOU CAN STILL CHANGE IT LATER. then pick the free url because I’m cheap so you should be too.

STEP TEN

step 10

IN CASE YOU MISSED THE MEMO CLICK ON THE FREE ONE BECAUSE WE ARE CHEAP

STEP ELEVEN

step 11

fill all this out then click “create my account”

STEP TWELVE

step 12

go confirm your email address then continue.

STEP THIRTEEN

step 13

bottom right corner. click CUSTOMIZE

STEP FOURTEEN

step 14

click “Site identity”

STEP FIFTEEN

step 15

add a name because that’s important. tagline it if you want to. Also if you plan on having text on your header later, uncheck the circled box.

STEP SIXTEEN

step 16

CLICK THE X

STEP SEVENTEEN

step 17

up there. upper left corner. click “my site”

STEP EIGHTEEN

step 19

Click “themes”. DO NOT CLICK CUSTOMIZE IT WILL NOT LEAD YOU TO THE SPECIAL PLACE I AM TAKING YOU

STEP NINETEEN

step 20

WE’RE CHEAP DID YOU MISS THE MEMO SHEESH. CLICK FREE SO YOU ONLY SEE FREE THEMES AND YOU DON’T FALL IN LOVE WITH AN EXPENSIVE ONE

STEP TWENTY

step 21

Okay, so obviously you can pick whatever theme you like(NO YOU CAN’T *GOLLUM* *GOLLUM*), but personally I recommend Dyad 2. It’s what I started out with. It’s easy to customize and make pretty, and easy to learn with.

STEP TWENTY-ONE

step 22

click the little dots because I TOLD YOU TO

STEP TWENTY-TWO

step 23

click “TRY & CUSTOMIZE” because I TOLD YOU TO AND CLEARLY I KNOW EVERYTHING

STEP TWENTY-THREE

step 24

click header image if you want to have one. if you don’t want one whatever don’t listen.

STEP TWENTY-FOUR

step 25

you can use one of their images, or upload your own!

STEP TWENTY-FIVE

step 26

save and activate the theme!

STEP TWENTY-SIX

step 27

Return to the stats page. scroll (ooh! learning new skills here!)

STEP TWENTY-SEVEN

step 28

click settings JUST DO IT DON’T SASS ME

STEP TWENTY-EIGHT

step 29

scroll again! ah! using those new skills we learned!

STEP TWENTY-NINE

step 30

click that circled thing. BECAUSE I SAID SO

STEP THIRTY

step 31

click “other importers”

STEP THIRTY-ONE

step 32

run the importer! it will explode (jk it won’t)

STEP THIRTY-TWO

step 33

CHOOSE A FILE ANY FILE (actually… (next step!))

STEP THIRTY-THREE

step 34

remember that file we downloaded earlier?? find it and choose it!

STEP THIRTY-FOUR

step 35

upload it

STEP THIRTY-FIVE

step 36

You can customize a little more, add to your profile(upper right corner), read/find other blogs(upper left corner!), or write a post(halfway down the page and to the left) And now that you’ve made your wordpress blog, follow me! thank you and goodbye. I must sleep now (this was a ton of work to put together)